The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 489
Production Info Intro SHOCKING NEWS! * Shocking news out of Illinois ** selling Obama's vacant Senate seat * evidence is suspect ** "I've got this thing and it's %@$ golden" * he could have been refering to anything ** pawning wedding ring ** golden retreiver puppies out of the trunk of his car ** holding Rue McClanahan for ransom * Patrick Fitzgerald * facebook status ** Rod is taking bribes * conduct would not make Lincoln roll over in his grave ** he's not there (his skull is in The C Desk) Colbert Report Tree * Colbert Report Tree ** no greater * trucked from a courthouse nativity scene in Hoboken * Christmas meant one thing to Dr. Colbert ** Nixon * powerful man ** list of who's naughty and nice ** little men who break in everywhere * to celebrate Nixmas, Colbert Report Tree will be renamed the Nixmas Tree * on December 26th, he will burn it down with napalm * Nixon Mennorah ** Nixonnukah * Dr. Colbert thought "Frost/Nixon" was about Jack Frost teaming up with Nixon * Kevin Bacon drank cocoa * Stephen drank egg nog * played Jack something Nixon's chief of staff ** they remained friends * as a Hollywood liberal elite, Bacon was raised hating Nixon * Nixon got paid $600,000 for the Frost interview ** Bacon got a gift bag and vodak * Bacon helped trim the tree with Nixon garland ** 18 minutes of erased tape Tek Jansen * still not found a publisher for Alpha Squad novel ** keeps adding to chapter * no publisher needed for Chapter 3 ** represent chapter 2 * Young Tek falls to the ground ** since it was not earth he did not die * he makes his way to Galaxy Plaza * Commander Joanna Valentine * Roxy Babylon ** he graduated from the academy of her heart * Abraxxia destroys Galaxy Plaza Headquarters ** Alpha Squad grief counselor * this Thursday (December 11, 2008) Dr. Colbert will present another exciting episode * SPOILER ALERT ** It will be awesome Interview * Charlie Kaufman ** writer/director * new movie: Synecdoche, New York. based on a literary term * can be described using the words ** "feel good" ** "sassy (or sexy) chihuahua" * the word Synecdoche means: "a figure of speech by which a part is put for the whole" * his movies have a lot of thought in them ** questionable if it is a good thing * not everyone lives in their heads ** Stephen doesn't; he lives out on his face * Stephen doesn't react ** keeps his heart in his gut ** cannot be stabbed * Stephen likes "Death of a Salesman" ** contains the line "man is not an orange," SC disagrees, if you squeeze a man hard enough, you can get juice * some people laugh ** some people cry * people are dumb if they donget his movie ** Stephen didn't get "Kung-fu Panda" * no one can be wrong watching his movie Epilogue * Dr. Colbert concludes the show by placing the Nixon Angel atop the tree * he encourages [[The Heroes] to go see both Frost/Nixon and Synecdoche, New York ** specifically asking Academy members to sit through the credits to listen for a great song Gallery This is an abbreviated gallery. For the full gallery, click here Image:Lincoln'sSkull.jpg Image:StephenWithColbertReportTree.jpg Image:StephenWithNixmasMenorah.jpg Image:FrostEnglishFop.jpg Image:FrostTrying2NailNixon.jpg Image:NixmasGarland.jpg Motherload Videos External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments